Maile at Breath by Breath has encouraged her readers to take the Naikan Challenge to see if they can become happier through self-reflection exercises. If you’ve been hanging around FreshBlogger for a little while, you probably already know that happiness is a topic that interests me. I’m always curious about what makes people happy, really, truly, happy. What does it take to move from a mentality of everything sucks to one of real joy? Or, if things don’t suck, but are just ok, how do we turn this into a consistent sense of optimism and positive thought?
Changing your mindset from negative to positive is something that requires a great deal of effort. It’s not impossible, though. The first step must be to realize that you do have a negative outlook and begin questioning why that is. If you don’t have a negative outlook, then that’s awesome; you don’t have quite as far to go.
It sounds like Maile’s challenge will provoke some interesting responses. I’m going to give it a shot and see how it works for me. If this sounds like something you’d like to do, even if you don’t share your own experience, check it out and let me know what you think. Here is how Maile describes the challenge:
7 Days to Happiness: Think You’re Up to the Naikan Challenge?
Spend just 30 minutes a day practicing this Japanese art of self-reflection, and within 7 days you’ll start to experience a profound sense of joy. At the end of the week, submit your experience, and you’ll get up to two links back to your site and a chance to be featured on Breath by Breath; On Learning to be Happy. It’s easy. It’s free. And it will change your life.
Visit http://mailemccarthy.com/naikan-challenge/ for details.
No related posts.
“Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness.”
- Chuang-Tzu (350 B.C.)
furthermore
“If you run after things, nothing will come to you. Let things run after you. The sea never sends an invitation to the rivers. That’s why they run to the sea. The sea is content. It doesn’t want anything. That’s the secret in life.”
- Swami Satchidananda
food for thought
here’s the article I found the quotes in last year:
http://www.eff.org/Misc/Publications/John_Perry_Barlow/HTML/The_Pursuit_of_Emptyness.html
Great counterpoints to the pursuit of happiness:
“I believe that extolling the pursuit of happiness was a toxic stupidity entirely unworthy of my greatest American hero, Thomas Jefferson. Indeed, it is a poison that sickens our culture more wretchedly every nanosecond. I wish he’d never said it.
It produces a monstrous, insatiable hunger inside our national psyche that encourages us ever more ravenously to devour all the resources of this small planet, crushing liberties, snuffing lives, feeling ourselves ordained by God and Jefferson to do whatever is necessary to make us happy.
And yet the American people are miserable. Or so it would appear.”
Hi Mark. Very interesting. I haven’t read the article yet, but I wonder if maybe Thomas Jefferson had a slightly different conception of what “pursuit of happiness” actually means. I think the meaning has been muddied in our modern culture and people don’t even know what they’re looking for. Also, many people are miserable, not just Americans, but people across the Western world. It does seem to be an epidemic. Thanks for commenting!
Hi Ray. Thanks for linking to my challenge.
To Mark and others, I encourage you to give Naikan a try. It’s not so much about chasing happiness as it is about noticing and appreciating the things you already have.
Based in Zen Buddhism, it’s quite in line with the quotes above.
,ray,
“I think the meaning has been muddied in our modern culture”
yes I agree.
Maile,
“I encourage you to give Naikan a try.”
Happiness is not something I strive for, personally I don’t want to wake up every day gleaming with “happiness”. Of all the combinations of emotions we can experience in a day/lifetime, I’m not sure how you choose happiness to put on a pedestal.
my last comment vanished? Off to try maile’s blog.
Mark, I found your comment in the Akismet filter. That’s an interesting take on the whole issue. I see that you view this as more than a black/white, happy/sad issue. I’d like to hear more…
“I’d like to hear more…”
I don’t really have any wisdom to share, I just think there is value to be found in many emotions, it’s all perspective. So I’ll think out loud for a sec:
“unhappiness” and “frustration” cause tons of good in the world, every humanitarian effort probably arises from some flavor of one or the other, so aren’t they two positive emotions?
With the way the world is today, shouldn’t we be encouraging more people to get “Angry” and not “Happy”? Easy for us to encourage “happiness” while our bellies are full and we have access to medicine.
Fear is a great “perspective” emotion. Some people see fear holding them back, some people see fear as what keeps us alive.
Happy is one of the easiest states to achieve, they even have a long list of licit and illicit drugs that can get you there very quickly. Of course it’s easily achieved by natural means also (however don’t tell the advertisers).
But I ask the same question: “how do you choose happiness to put on a pedestal.” And why favor one over another?
What about wonder? Generosity? patience? relaxation? love? Aren’t those worthy of a pursuit? Or at least a blog post
And if you woke up every single day “happy” would you know you were happy? Can you have a peak without a valley? Can you have dark without light?
Hi Mark,
Thanks for offering me some new points to think about. My perspective is always changing so I don’t have any really solid answer, but, like you, let me think about loud for a second.
First off, as I mention on my blog (somewhere), I differentiate between happiness and pleasure. Sex, drugs, exercise, meditation, etc. can certainly lead to pleasant feelings, but I don’t equate these with happiness.
I use ‘happy’ to mean something like Foster and Hicks: feeling capable, centered and content as well as Csikszentmihalyi: something like engaged with life and striving for mastery (though that’s probably not the best wording. Again, thinking out loud…)
By that definition, happiness includes wonder (for sure!), generosity, anger, fear… the whole range. And it’s not so much a thing to actually achieve as it is a goal that that gives me a meaningful life (I’m opening myself for some more questions with that last sentence, eh?)
As to what I put *that* (type of happiness) on a pedestal, I’m going to have to think more about it. I’m tempted to say it’s an accident of biology and my previous experience in life. As Schopenhauer (probably) said — and I agree — “A man can do as he wills, but not will as he wills.”
Thanks for pushing me on this. If you’d like to continue the conversation in private, feel free to email me (maile.mccarthy [at] gmail.com). Of course, I’m open to continuing it here, or dropping it if you’re so inclined.
“My perspective is always changing so I don’t have any really solid answer”
indeed, I’m not a constant, rather a process, therefore my perspective is also a process. I work so one day I can focus more on the process
I sorta understand your definition of happiness and it sounds good, however I’m not sure you have the typical point of view, neither do I.
If I had to label “happiness” for myself, it might be the opposite of your definition. Happiness is not engaged with life, rather disengaged, the loss of ego, or something like
“Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness.  just be, the only meaning things have is the meaning we give them (happiness or sadness)
You say “it’s not so much a thing to actually achieve as it is a goal that that gives me a meaningful life”
We each define the meaning of life differently and if you’ve found a way to achieve meaning in your life I reckon that is a good thing for you.
However just as a tree doesn’t need to justify it’s existence or have a meaning in existence, neither do I.
Hi Ray, 45n5(Mark), Meile.
Happiness .. as japanese mean something a bit different than english word “happiness” is (or can be) explained.
A major feature of allmost any japanese, which is actually very rare on westerners, is ability to be and be not there, in same time and same space. yes, that`s right, taht`s or may be happiness for a jap – he/she is looking to a cherry blossom while is there with you and debate next year company budget …
Naikan is as non-transparent for a non-japanese as is karma concept.
Happiness is pleasure, joy, enthusiasm, optimism, all generated from external factor(s).
“Inside Happiness”, which is or may be generated by naikan or other practices, is something helpfull to be more or become peaceful inside. Once inside is peace, you have all resources to focus on external emotions, as ” “unhappiness†and “frustration†and “anger” “. Inside happiness require before all a close to 100% self-know.
If you`ll ask a japanese what is he – religious point of view – he/she`ll answer zen, budhist, shinto, christian, none or a combination of. But when is come about something, he/she was-is-will be JAPANESE. What that mean ?
That mean Rectitude, Courage, Benevolence, Respect, Honesty, Honor, Loyalty. In one word = Bushido.
Them minds works different. Certain things westerners rushed to “import” from them customs are not quite suitable, while we first must understand and accept the style they live (not as flesh and bones, but as brain-spirit).
As far as I know, naikan procedure require a close observation from a “guru” (somebody who really know what and how), it takes 1-2 months “shoots” and is extremly dangerous for mental health if “taken” without survellience from somebody trained to do that. Is like overdoze of strong medicine. Is like “Take 3 aspirin each 4 hours, “x” done that and he was cured by (disease name)” advice, wich advice may lead to more wrong. What`s fit for one, is not necessary fit for other.
My 2 cents.
Valentin (aka musashi)
Hi Valentin,
Thank you for sharing/explaining Naikan from the Japanese point of view. It is a hard thing to describe, which is why I encouraged people to simply try it (I suggested 1 week as a starting point, so people wouldn’t be overwhelmed; I never intended it to be a “cure, now you’re done” type of thing).
I’ve been practicing on my own for several years and have found it very beneficial. Why do you worry it’s “extremely dangerous for mental health” if done on one’s own? I’ve never heard this, nor has it been my experience, but I certainly don’t want to suggest people try something dangerous. What do you fear will happen?
Perhaps the difference is that I practice a version which has been adapted for westerners, specifically. That is, I reflect formally for only 30 minutes a day, and I reflect only on one day at a time. On a “1-2 month ‘shoot’”, as you say, I believe people sit in formal reflection all day long and considering long stretches of their lives, focus on one person at a time, etc.
Have you practiced Naikan yourself? Have you known anyone it harmed? I’m interested to hear your experience. I agree that what’s fit for one is not necessarily fit for another, but I’m surprised to hear this simple practice could hurt anyone.
Maile,
Is not the japanese point of view.
Is the point of view of an europeean who try hard to understand (and eventually accept) japanese way.
Unattended by a guide (who know what is doing) experiments with human brains made by oneself are most useless and dangerous things a human may do to harm himself and sometime also others.
Brain, spirit, are not pc games : save here, try, if goes wrong , reset and restart …
Even whorst. Eventually damages are permanent.
And, bad news … is even whorst : effects are not instant, but shopwn at long time distance.
Your are saying :
“I’ve been practicing on my own for several years and have found it very beneficial.”
I allready said :
“Is like “Take 3 aspirin each 4 hours, “x†done that and he was cured by (disease name)†advice, wich advice may lead to more wrong. What`s fit for one, is not necessary fit for other.”
Here are 2 valid ways.
ONE is that you experienced (on your own risck and without prior training) and SEEMS to make things better for you. Cool ! Spreading the word as you done (Do it, it works, I try and is cool) imply you guarantee will works for anyone. Are you sure you want to put this responsability on your shoulders ? How many peoples you know doing this ON THEY OWN since “n” years, WITH NO PRO HELP and works ?
TWO is that you are in field, you are trained to a level wich give you the power to promote this with you as guide. Hard to belive while you do not mention this and more, you actually only want to learn more by having others experience shared with you.
Naikan is based on Buddhist metta meditation.
Regular “Joe” outthere have no time nor will to become buddhist. Not even to learn basics. regular “joe” need all time to make money to support his family. When one comes and give something as naikan on the market, packed as “pret a porter, no prior knowledge needed, anybody can do it in his backyard”, he`ll grab and do. In HIS style.
I`ll quote you from todo site :
“Such retreats are now regularly scheduled at several centers in the U.S. and are open to almost anyone with a sincere interest in self- reflection. The retreats are generally conducted in the same fashion as those in Japan – bowing, shoji screens and the use of cushions for sitting is common.”
Everywhere on that site, which seems was not upgraded since 2004, are NOT promoted “do it at home” techniques. Everywhere is “we search”, “we can”, “we …” … not “YOU search”, “YOU do” ..
For my damaged brains, this may mean ONLY that ALL stuff should be done UNDER CLOSE SURVEILLENCE from someone who is instructed to guide the stuff ….
You also may do an intersting experiment. Go find 10 psyhologists who never seen you in them life and ask each one of them what they think of “use of regresion techniques, at home, by unqualified peoples, on them own”. Why “regresion” ? Becouse that is what naikan use – remember and evaluate. I bet 9/10 will say “dam, never do that !” One will probably start asking you details to see how many potential clients he`ll have in near future …
That`s my opinion, and more or less, I support 45n5(Mark)`s “Happiness is not something I strive for, personally I don’t want to wake up every day gleaming with “happinessâ€. ”
Best regards,
Valentin
Hello Valentin,
I had never even heard of the word Naikan until this post so you have a much greater background than I do.
However I will agree promoting people to ask the questions like What have others done for me today, or what troubles have I caused, on a daily basis, could be damaging for some people without guidance.
Especially for somebody who is depressed, that sees the world through a filter where nobody does anything for the them, or cares about them, or they are the cause of troubles in the world.
Then the exercise seems like it would reinforce negative emotions in a person, and most certainly wouldn’t lead to “happiness”.
But it brings me back to my initial question, why pursue happiness over any other emotion?
quote:
“But it brings me back to my initial question, why pursue happiness over any other emotion?”
Well .. this is exactly what I was talking about in first reply.
Is not about happiness, as defined in Webster dictionary.
You know, people agree latins are hot blood, british are overpolite and most of asians are very cold. Specialy japanese.
You also know that MotherNature(dot com
))) ) have a particulary feature toward everything is or happen : try to keep balance. There for, everything is adjustable, long terms of time, to whatever is environment. Each and any “something” has an evolution. That evolution is result of interactivity of species with surrounding events.
Commin` back from general to particular case, human beings, is a commun error to think shallow that humans are special and don`t follow that rule. Wrong. We are in plain evolution, even more, we managed to interferr into that and make changes even slower by denying / delayaing natural evolution. How ?
Nature use to adjust a species to environment. We try hard to adjust environment to our needs.
Is well known that what (we, humans, think) makes us superiors is ability to communicate.
That is a brain function. Any animal have.
In fact, the difference may eventually be the fact we, on purpose, try to adjust things to fit to our needs.
Some of far-east philosophies are very dedicated to keep things on natural way. Starting from this basics, you`ll see why martial arts have been developed there. “Natural body moves, under conscious control of brain.” Is obviously that that is on Nature path : adapting human to external needs, while general human path is to adjust external factors to our needs.
Japanese people is born into a crowded environment. Even more, they were all time “teased” by out of human control natural events. Earthquakes, taifuns, whatever. They found in religious phylosophies the path to adjust themself, in order to evolve, to follow the natural path.
To accomplish this, something was required.
Inside peace. Use of introspection as way to build a unique (individual) personal paralel universe where to be and live … HAPPY.
That as result of a specific education, selfcontrol, selfknowledge.
“how to adjust my needs as to fit to Nature events ?” (them way)
vs
“how to adjust Nature to fit my needs ?” (westerners-europeeans way – to be notice, basically, Australia and both America were populated by europeeans … with them habits ..)
There for, any japanese may practice naikan without fear, becouse the basement of his brain is suited to do it, in stamped in his DNA.
Naikan goal is the inside peace. Acceptance of natural (and / or external) needs prior to personal needs. Adjusting personal needs to whatever is outside, without damaging personal universe from inside. This status is translated in english as “happiness”.
……..
“I know all theory of hearth transplant, have read all books about and see it twice, live, on tv”
I would call me to make the surgery to myself, or I`ll call a proffesional doctor ?
Same as :
“Learn to practice naikan at home, without teacher, in 3 weeks, guaranteed results”.
become content and you’ll be happy.
I have to say this is one of the most interesting conversations started on my blog. I’m going to put up a post with some of my thoughts after reading all of this. My thanks to everyone who has participated!
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