This episode was all about how it all began for Tony. If you’re not familiar with this show or the story, Tony Bourdain was a career chef, working in the business for nearly 30 years until writing a book called Kitchen Confidential that propelled him into notoriety and henceforth into popular culture. This book, which I haven’t read yet, but is definitely on my reading list, is sort of a tell-all expose of the culinary culture of New York City. It garnered much praise and not a little criticism for it’s straight-talking illustrations of the places and names behind some of the Big Apple’s finest eateries.

What I found striking about this episode, though, was the transition from professional chef to professional author, and, ultimately, to professional cable television personality. Tony found himself the subject of a documentary that was filmed over the course of several months in 2000. This was the year that his book was published and he went through this enormous life-change.

Before publishing his book, he appears as a younger, skinnier, less gray (and less tan than now!), version of his current self. What’s interesting is his comfort with where he is in life, with his role as head chef at Les Halles. He is clearly at home in the kitchen, making sure that all the components necessary to a fine meal are in the right place at the right time and prepared to perfection. He is in his element as the person in charge of this kitchen and it’s ragtag staff. He’s downright cocky in his confidence.

Then comes publishing Kitchen Confidential. Then the book tour. Then an invitation to lunch from a local, but world-renowned chef. After his meeting, Tony looks shell-shocked. He’s evidently experiencing some sort of inner crisis as he comes to grips with a life that is quickly changing, not for the worse, but undeniably for the better. He describes with some surprise how he is able to pay his rent on time for the just about the first time in his life. Some exaggeration can be expected, but the sense of seeing a man who believes he has seen a miracle is palpable. His life is forever changed in a positive way.

Fast forward ten years. Tony interjects his own commentary from time to time throughout, but it’s most poignant near the end of the program where he still shakes his head in disbelief that he’s made it. He’s comfortable with his new celebrity, even though it hasn’t gone to his head. He’s less arrogant and firmly grounded in his new reality of traveling, talking, writing celebrity. It’s plain to see that he’s humbled by his successes.

The lessons that I take away from this story are several: Work hard, don’t give up, do what you are passionate about, and accept the changes that come with life. When you follow your passions to their natural conclusions, going with the natural current of your life, there will most definitely be great changes. As in Tony’s case, these changes clearly unsettled him and, I’m certain, simply scared the hell out of him. Ultimately, though, he persevered and grew with his passion and with his life and reached this point of balance where it just works.

I’m reminded of that line from Lord Jim by Joseph Conrad, where the wise old adventurer advises that the title character should be encouraged to “immerse himself in the destructive element.” This was an admonition for the perenially unhappy character, who had failed in his one big chance live up to the heroic ideal he had always dreamed of, to dive into this role regardless of consequence. The alternative would have been drugs or alcohol or wasting away the potential of his life in some menial, ignoble job.

In Jim’s case, he embraced his passionate desire and ended up paying for it with his life, for better or worse. Tony Bourdain shows us another side of the coin. He definitely embraced his passion for cooking, for creating something wonderful out of a list of ingredients and a mob of unruly misfits. But, he continued on to the next step, transitioning from chef to author to television star, never letting the passion consume him, but rolling with the punches and accepting his journey.

The overarching lesson is one of pursuing your own passion while accepting the twists and turns of the currents of life. Don’t shy away from change, but embrace it and realize that it’s part of the journey to personal fulfillment and satisfaction in life.

P.S. For a great interview from one of my hometown papers check out Anthony Bourdain’s Irresistible Impulses.

Maybe you had a fight with that person lying next to you in bed (or sleeping on the couch!) or one of your children. Maybe your mother or father was critical of your life choices last night on the phone and you reacted angrily. Maybe your neighbor’s dog kept you up through the night. Maybe you feel like you’re going nowhere and not making any progress at all on your goals. Maybe…

Isn’t that enough, though? Enough of those nasty little maybes that are ruining your life day by day? There is so much crap that piles up in our minds that makes us feel bad. I’ve written about the topic of mental clutter, dropping bad habits, and, more recently, about the fact that there will be no change in your life if you don’t change.

This idea bears repeating at least once a day. When things aren’t going right, when you’re not feeling right, remember that your discomfort is really a call to action.

Your subconscious will alert you when it feels that you’re on the wrong track. This is where the nagging doubts come in, the sneaking suspicions that you’re making a mistake.

I’m not suggesting that you give in impulsively to these feelings and dump everything in your life (midlife crisis, anyone?). What I’m saying is that these are signs that you should be examining the parts of your life for things that don’t fit, for those little inconsistencies that throw off your sense of self and your feeling of balance.

The problem really is you. I don’t mean that you’re hopelessly messed up, even though you might be. What I mean is once again that the change has to come from you.

Examine your thoughts for a moment and figure out what’s bugging you. What are the little things in your life that are driving you nuts? These are the things to focus on first and make some changes.

Face the facts: No one is going to rescue you.

It’s scary, but empowering to realize that you really are in control of your own life. You are the star of your own show. You are in charge!

So, when I say that it bears repeating every day that the problem is you, I’m really saying that you should remind yourself every day that you are the one in charge of your own destiny. You can make any changes you want to make. There will always be consequences for making these changes, but you can get motivated and do things that will improve your life.

I’m not here to whine about my life. Actually, my life is pretty great, all things considered, but sometimes it gets really stressful. I know this happens to all of us. Sometimes things build up, mostly little things, that add to a load of stress that becomes a heavy burden over time. You get to the point where you just feel like you need a vacation.

Unfortunately, you can’t always just take a few days or a week off and drink beer and play the xbox in your underwear. Or if you can, more power to you!

So, if you’re stuck with bulling through it, it’s OK to just take things one day at a time. You will get through it. Do what it takes to get through the day and while you’re at it, try to make one little thing better.

You don’t have to be a superstar every single day, so set your sights on the low hanging fruit. Knock out something simple, even if it’s just cleaning your desk at work or folding a few pieces of laundry that have been sitting in that basket for a week.

These tasks seem minuscule, but they have a cumulative effect on your life and sense of accomplishment. If you can do one or two small things today and just keep the rest of the pack of howling wolves at bay, then tomorrow you can tackle a few more things, a few slightly bigger things, and in a few more days you’ll be back in your superstar game.

Hang in there, we can make it through today.

Near the bottom of the article, though, it struck me that the same advice he gives in the article works well for dealing with disappointment:

If any of this makes you mad, that’s a step in the right direction. Anger is a higher level of consciousness than apathy, so it’s a lot better than being numb all the time. Any emotion — even confusion — is better than apathy. If you work through your feelings instead of repressing them, you’ll soon emerge on the doorstep of courage. And when that happens, you’ll have the will to actually do something about your situation and start living like the powerful human being you were meant to be instead of the domesticated pet you’ve been trained to be.

This is great advice. Instead of just letting the disappointments and stresses of life kick our butts, we need to use them as motivation to move forward. Yes, it’s incredibly difficult to change the habits that have gotten us entrenched in bad situations, but if we’re able to channel that emotion, that discontent, that extreme discomfort, into something useful, there are tremendous strides to be made in success, satisfaction, and happiness.

I went through a range of emotions as I came to terms with the result of my efforts and as I thought about it, I realized it might be helpful for me to write about. I find a kind of catharsis in writing and also feel that some of you may benefit from my experience as well.

I’m no psychiatrist, but I do believe there are stages that a person goes through in dealing with disappointment just like when grieving. In fact, disappointment could be seen as a loss of opportunity that certainly could trigger the grieving process. With that said, here are the steps that occurred to me:

1. Be hurt. It’s OK. It’s likely that a lost opportunity will leave you with injured pride or injured feelings. Don’t fight this feeling. Just let it happen, but don’t dwell there for long in self pity. Let it go.

2. Allow yourself to be angry. Maybe not everyone will feel this way, but I found myself getting angry after the initial shock passed. This is another emotion that’s useful, but only in the short term in this case. Let it be a motivator to further progressive action, but don’t allow it to fester and consume you. As with hurt, just let it go.

3. Take a little time. Yes, take a breather for a little while and let things sink in. It often helps to give these things a day or two to sink in. With a good night’s rest or two, your perspective on events will begin to change and the other emotions will begin to fade.
Count your blessings.

4. Count your blessings. I’m sure if you consider for a moment you’ll see that there are many good things in your life. Things aren’t as bad as they may seem at times. It may take a bit more than a couple of days, but let yourself enjoy the good things about the life you have.

5. Put a positive spin on events. As you realize that there definitely are good things in your life, spend some time casting the events of your disappointment into a better light. Don’t misunderstand that I’m advising you to lie to yourself. Far from it. What I would like to stress is that there are different ways to view the things that have occurred. You can choose to view them from a positive perspective or you can dwell on the negative. It’s your choice.

6. Get back on the horse. After you’ve taken some time and worked through the earlier stages of this process, it’s time to get back to work. Whatever your disappointment was, don’t allow it to haunt you through life. Remember that there will always be some disappointments and failures in life and that those who overcome the trials are the ones who will be successful. There’s no other path to success.

I truly hope that these steps are of some value to you. Taking the time to write about this topic has been a positive experience for me and I’m ready to get back to work. How about you?

When we go through these experiences, it’s important to remember that there is still a sun behind those clouds. As important as our loved ones, friends, jobs, homes, cars, and other things in life are to us, there is more in our lives than just one person or job or possession. The pain and emptiness of loss can only be dealt with by accepting that we’ve lost someone or something very precious and then realizing that there are other precious things in our lives to cherish.

With this in mind, don’t wait until you’ve lost someone or something important to you before filling your life with good things. Take time to search for those rays of sunlight while there are few clouds in the blue sky. Meet new people, try new foods, and experience life to the fullest every day. Living a full and passionate life won’t save you from the pain of loss, but will help to insulate you from the worst of the pain and quickly put you on the road to recovery.

1. Your skills are not respected. If you feel that your employer doesn’t recognize your value to the company, then it may be time for a change. Do you find that your opinions are taken for granted or that your judgment isn’t taken seriously? If you’re always wrong in the eyes of your employer, then there is definitely a problem.

Take the time to examine yourself, though. Are you really contributing as much as you can? Are you proving your value in your work assignments? If not, it may be worthwhile talking with your supervisor and asking for more challenging or interesting work. If this isn’t an option, then it’s time to start looking.

2. You’re stuck. If you’ve been in the same position, doing the same things, for nearly the same pay, for a long time, it’s time to shake things up. Has your job title been the same for five years? Do you have the same level of responsibility you had three years ago? Is your pay increasing at a snail’s pace with cost of living type raises? Enough is enough.

Again, look at your situation from an outside perspective before making final decisions. It’s true that you’re much more likely these days to make significant gains in salary and benefits by changing jobs than you are by staying at a job for a long time. However, if you’re content with what you’re making and/or the market won’t support paying much more for the work you do, then the scenario may be a little different. You may want to communicate to your supervisor that you’re ready for more responsibilities. It’s also possible that there may be another role in the same organization that can be more satisfying and more lucrative for you.

3. You’re bored! If you simply can’t get into what you’re doing right now, then it may be time to leave. There is some evidence that the human mind needs change in order to defeat boredom and depression. Many of us spend the greater part of our lives, more than 40 hours per week, working. This is a lot of time to be spending performing tasks that aren’t stimulating our brains in the ways that they need in order to thrive.

You have to be careful, though, that you’re focusing on the right parts of your life that need change or improvement. It could be that more outside activities will liven up your life. Perhaps meeting new people is what you need rather than switching jobs. Try expanding your social and activity circle to see if it makes life more interesting and enjoyable for you. If your work situation doesn’t improve after making some changes in your outside activities, then it may be time for you to move on.

Being unhappy in your employment has a profound effect on your life. When your job no longer is satisfying, you often begin thinking all sorts of negative thoughts about yourself. You start thinking that you’re not good at what you do, so maybe you should choose another career. You may think you’re just a bad employee, lazy, sloppy, or unintelligent. These thoughts are self-defeating and self-destructive. Instead of beating yourself up, take some time to make some changes to make your life and work more interesting, challenging, and enjoyable.

No, I’m not turning this blog into poetry. I’m urging you to take a moment today to enjoy what’s around you. If you can take some time to gaze out a window and just be for a long minute or two, it will do wonders for your spirit. No matter how awful the things you’ve just turned away from may seem to be right now, there absolutely is goodness, beauty, and peace in the world. Look for it.

Although, there is plenty of information in this article for beginning bloggers, I think the content is much more useful and immediately applicable for those who have already gotten their feet wet by blogging for a while. Regardless, he provides some thought-provoking ideas on how you as a blogger should think about blogging in order to successfully generate money from it. The most important quote I found was this:

There are lots of people trying to blog for income, but they’re stuck thinking like bloggers instead of entrepreneurs. The activity of blogging is not income-generating; hence a blog is not a business. If you think like a blogger, your blog won’t generate much money. In order to generate income from blogging, you have to learn to think like an entrepreneur.

This seems like a very simple and obvious idea, but I think the concept escapes many of us, even bloggers who have been in the game for some time. He goes on to talk about the idea of marketing. The content alone may be excellent, but writing the content isn’t the activity that generates income. It’s the marketing of that content, getting those great articles in front of as many eyes as possible, that opens up doors and ultimately makes you money.

This is definitely food for thought. If you’re struggling to make money as a blogger, whether you’re just starting out or you’ve been doing this for years, take some time to think about how you’re marketing your writing. Are you getting yourself out there and really selling yourself to your readers? The time you spend on marketing will be well worth the effort.

Sometimes when you open your eyes and look around you, all you can see are the mountains that surround you. The many little foothills and gentle ridges that are far closer are beneath the level of your vision and thus, out of your field of view. All you are seeing are those towering, threatening mountains. Every once in a while you get a flash of those sharp, lofty peaks as the clean white teeth in the jaws of life, about to snap shut and devour you completely.

I know I’m not alone in getting these feelings occasionally. People I talk to often admit in private that they feel overwhelmed and paralyzed by all the pressures of life. This paralysis is the most dangerous thing. It allows your fears and doubts to rule your life. It can sap your motivation until your confidence and optimism are on life support, barely breathing.

Here are a few brief tips that help me and I think will help you to get back that spark that’s been so dim lately:

• Take a time out. A little breather away from the pressures of work and life can help you to restore some sense of balance. Take a mental health day from work and make a concerted effort to not even think about work or other pressing concerns. Don’t take too long, though, as things will pile up in your absence.
• Organize. Clear out some of the clutter in your life. Yes, I mean the physical crap that piles up around you. While you’re taking your mental health day, clean up your house or apartment. Just pick up a few things or do the dishes or throw out those old magazines and newspapers you’ll never read. When you get back to work, start clearing the papers off your desk.
• Deal with one thing at a time. If you have trouble with it already, you’ll have to learn to just say no. For your sanity’s sake, focus on one thing at a time. Ignore the phone and email until you’ve completed at least one task. You’ll feel better that you’ve accomplished something. You may want to break down larger projects into microtasks.
• Change. Make some changes in your daily routine for starters. Even small changes will inject some much-needed variety into your life. Small changes can lead to big changes after they become habits.
• Develop a personal mission statement. This step is important. I posted recently about the importance of having a personal mission statement and my own work on developing one for myself. Take your time with this one, though. You’ll want to really think about what’s important to you and how you want to live your life.

I hope you’ll find these ideas useful. That lack of motivation you’re feeling isn’t a good feeling, is it? Remember that your discomfort is a call to action. There’s no better time than right now to start building a better future.