This has honestly always bothered me. I’ve worked hard to build up habits that will get me where I need to be on time and to drop those bad habits that get in the way of timeliness. I’ve met with some success over the years, but the underlying issue of tardiness has stuck with me.

I’m getting a little introspective here, but I believe all this may be due to some inner rebellion against society. Call it my own little revolution against the man. I just want to do my own thing without having to worry about some arbitrary set of rules imposed by someone else.

This sounds a bit childish, I’m sure. Like most people, I definitely see the value in being on time. It’s essential to be on time or early to a job interview. There are also other situations where it’s vital to be on time (like, catching a plane). Being habitually late is generally considered a sign that a person isn’t dependable, too. This can be a difficult label to overcome once it’s applied.

There is also a bright side to being late, though. It occurred to me recently that many times when I’ve been late, there has definitely been a reason. I’m almost always doing something that is valuable to me, something that is, in that moment, far more important than whatever it is I might be rushing out to do. In fact, there’s a huge opportunity cost in stressing yourself to always be on time.

Thinking back, there have been many times I’ve taken just a few extra moments to enjoy that last sip of excellent coffee, a few more words of conversation with a loved one or a good friend, another long hug and “I love you” from one of my children, or a few minutes more of closeness with someone I love. How can you place a value on these precious moments?

These are the times that will be most important to you when you look back on your life. No one is going to eulogize you and say how great you were because you were always on time. No one will wipe away a tear and comment on your excellent punctuality. However, many will remember those precious few moments that you spent with them, doing something you love with someone you love.

Near the bottom of the article, though, it struck me that the same advice he gives in the article works well for dealing with disappointment:

If any of this makes you mad, that’s a step in the right direction. Anger is a higher level of consciousness than apathy, so it’s a lot better than being numb all the time. Any emotion — even confusion — is better than apathy. If you work through your feelings instead of repressing them, you’ll soon emerge on the doorstep of courage. And when that happens, you’ll have the will to actually do something about your situation and start living like the powerful human being you were meant to be instead of the domesticated pet you’ve been trained to be.

This is great advice. Instead of just letting the disappointments and stresses of life kick our butts, we need to use them as motivation to move forward. Yes, it’s incredibly difficult to change the habits that have gotten us entrenched in bad situations, but if we’re able to channel that emotion, that discontent, that extreme discomfort, into something useful, there are tremendous strides to be made in success, satisfaction, and happiness.

I have to admit, though, that there are some things I don’t care for at my new job. Some of these are pretty minor and easily overlooked. Others are potentially cause for greater concern. The question here is how much can you really change about your job?

I’ve blogged about how to know when it’s time to change jobs, but how about making changes to your current job to make it more suitable, more palatable on a daily basis? Is this really a valid option?

I think this is an important question for many people who are dissatisfied with at least some aspect of their employment situation. We spend so much time at work, going to and from work, and thinking about work that any positive improvement will have a great impact on our overall well being.

My own sense of the answer to this question is pretty straightforward: it’s been my experience that things are not likely to change much for the better if you start making complaints at work. Many employers have a hard time dealing with the idea that their company or their management style isn’t unanimously viewed as perfect.

Sure, some managers are certainly reasonable people who are open to suggestions. However, there is usually more to creating a substantial change in the workplace than just changing the mind of one person. Most companies have set policies that tend to be fairly rigid due to employment regulations and in order to minimize the potential for litigation.

This all tends to provide a very large barrier to any meaningful change at work. Often the person making a complaint is thereafter viewed with suspicion and branded as disloyal. After this point has been reached, there is really no other option for the employee than to find another job.

I know I’m sounding pretty jaded here, but I do think there are some instances where you can change things at work for the better. These changes have to come from you, the employee, though. If you can change the way you work or change the way you think about work, then this can have a tremendous positive effect on your working environment and will most likely change the way others in the workplace view you, and ultimately, how they treat you.

This isn’t to say that changes can’t be made by speaking to the appropriate person in charge. I do think this is possible in some cases, but it has to be approached in such a delicate, diplomatic way that it’s often too dangerous to even attempt.

I’d love to hear what any of you have to say about making changes in your workplace. Feel free to leave a comment with any insights or stories you may have.

1. Your skills are not respected. If you feel that your employer doesn’t recognize your value to the company, then it may be time for a change. Do you find that your opinions are taken for granted or that your judgment isn’t taken seriously? If you’re always wrong in the eyes of your employer, then there is definitely a problem.

Take the time to examine yourself, though. Are you really contributing as much as you can? Are you proving your value in your work assignments? If not, it may be worthwhile talking with your supervisor and asking for more challenging or interesting work. If this isn’t an option, then it’s time to start looking.

2. You’re stuck. If you’ve been in the same position, doing the same things, for nearly the same pay, for a long time, it’s time to shake things up. Has your job title been the same for five years? Do you have the same level of responsibility you had three years ago? Is your pay increasing at a snail’s pace with cost of living type raises? Enough is enough.

Again, look at your situation from an outside perspective before making final decisions. It’s true that you’re much more likely these days to make significant gains in salary and benefits by changing jobs than you are by staying at a job for a long time. However, if you’re content with what you’re making and/or the market won’t support paying much more for the work you do, then the scenario may be a little different. You may want to communicate to your supervisor that you’re ready for more responsibilities. It’s also possible that there may be another role in the same organization that can be more satisfying and more lucrative for you.

3. You’re bored! If you simply can’t get into what you’re doing right now, then it may be time to leave. There is some evidence that the human mind needs change in order to defeat boredom and depression. Many of us spend the greater part of our lives, more than 40 hours per week, working. This is a lot of time to be spending performing tasks that aren’t stimulating our brains in the ways that they need in order to thrive.

You have to be careful, though, that you’re focusing on the right parts of your life that need change or improvement. It could be that more outside activities will liven up your life. Perhaps meeting new people is what you need rather than switching jobs. Try expanding your social and activity circle to see if it makes life more interesting and enjoyable for you. If your work situation doesn’t improve after making some changes in your outside activities, then it may be time for you to move on.

Being unhappy in your employment has a profound effect on your life. When your job no longer is satisfying, you often begin thinking all sorts of negative thoughts about yourself. You start thinking that you’re not good at what you do, so maybe you should choose another career. You may think you’re just a bad employee, lazy, sloppy, or unintelligent. These thoughts are self-defeating and self-destructive. Instead of beating yourself up, take some time to make some changes to make your life and work more interesting, challenging, and enjoyable.

I’m going to be writing some articles about employment issues, including searching for a new job, coping with your current one, and being more happy and productive wherever you may be working. There are so many people out there who are dissatisfied with their lives and a large part of that is due to their work situation or their perspective on their own employment. These are factors that can be changed and the realization of that is the first step toward a better, more positive life.

I have a lot of ideas already, but if you would like to suggest some topics to be included or offer your own perspective on the current job market as well as employment issues or searching for a job, please leave a comment or use my contact form.

In the past months I’ve transitioned from married to single, from a big house in the suburbs to a small apartment near the highway, and from a long term steady job to a new one with lots of potential. Each change has caused me to go through a period of introspection, of soul-searching to figure things out. Though there are helpful resources out there, and I’ve had a lot of support from family and friends, there is no instruction book for life.

It’s been a difficult year of adjustment. There have been many ups and downs during this time, but the general trend has always been upward. I feel more positive about my life and where I’m going now than I have in many years.

I want to continue to share with you some of the things I’ve been learning. These things may be about life in general, about making money, and about blogging. I won’t promise not to write about other topics, though, as they come up. I’ve spent so much time learning and experiencing new things lately that have offered valuable lessons to me. I feel that some of these will also be equally valuable to many of you.

This is an exciting time for me in my life, yet there are many fears that I’m dealing with along the way. It’s definitely not easy letting go of the safety of a long term relationship or a long term job. Change can be a scary thing, but it can also be a necessary motivator for taking action and taking control of your life. This is an idea that I’ve found to be valuable to remember during the difficult times. Change is often good even though it’s often frightening and uncomfortable.

I may not be posting every day, but I will continue to write on this blog. I think the FreshBlogger name is even more apropos now as my life feels fresh and new. In the coming months I hope to share even more of these fresh ideas with you. Thanks for continuing to come back and read these pages and a special thanks for those of you who have offered your time and support in the last months. You’ve helped me to keep going in the right direction.

Sometimes when you open your eyes and look around you, all you can see are the mountains that surround you. The many little foothills and gentle ridges that are far closer are beneath the level of your vision and thus, out of your field of view. All you are seeing are those towering, threatening mountains. Every once in a while you get a flash of those sharp, lofty peaks as the clean white teeth in the jaws of life, about to snap shut and devour you completely.

I know I’m not alone in getting these feelings occasionally. People I talk to often admit in private that they feel overwhelmed and paralyzed by all the pressures of life. This paralysis is the most dangerous thing. It allows your fears and doubts to rule your life. It can sap your motivation until your confidence and optimism are on life support, barely breathing.

Here are a few brief tips that help me and I think will help you to get back that spark that’s been so dim lately:

• Take a time out. A little breather away from the pressures of work and life can help you to restore some sense of balance. Take a mental health day from work and make a concerted effort to not even think about work or other pressing concerns. Don’t take too long, though, as things will pile up in your absence.
• Organize. Clear out some of the clutter in your life. Yes, I mean the physical crap that piles up around you. While you’re taking your mental health day, clean up your house or apartment. Just pick up a few things or do the dishes or throw out those old magazines and newspapers you’ll never read. When you get back to work, start clearing the papers off your desk.
• Deal with one thing at a time. If you have trouble with it already, you’ll have to learn to just say no. For your sanity’s sake, focus on one thing at a time. Ignore the phone and email until you’ve completed at least one task. You’ll feel better that you’ve accomplished something. You may want to break down larger projects into microtasks.
• Change. Make some changes in your daily routine for starters. Even small changes will inject some much-needed variety into your life. Small changes can lead to big changes after they become habits.
• Develop a personal mission statement. This step is important. I posted recently about the importance of having a personal mission statement and my own work on developing one for myself. Take your time with this one, though. You’ll want to really think about what’s important to you and how you want to live your life.

I hope you’ll find these ideas useful. That lack of motivation you’re feeling isn’t a good feeling, is it? Remember that your discomfort is a call to action. There’s no better time than right now to start building a better future.

My first encounter with personal mission statements was in reading Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. The concept was very simple: define who I am, what I value, and how I should live my life in light of these realizations. I began immediately trying to put together a list of roles and values. I quickly found that the task was going to be more difficult than I’d initially believed, though.

After taking a good, hard look at myself, it occurred to me that many of us don’t know ourselves very well at all and that, even if we do, we rarely live our lives in accordance with that knowledge. For example, how many of us work at jobs that we profess to hate? And, yet, we still continue to spend the majority of our lives in these places without looking for something better. Or, if we do look for another job, we take the approach that anything is better, just as long as it’s different. This is a dangerous trap caused by either not knowing ourselves or ignoring our own values, needs, and desires.

Chuck’s tag comes at an interesting time for me because I was already working on my personal mission statement. I had started writing one a few years ago and my efforts dwindled away over time as other concerns took priority. A couple of months ago, though, I decided to read 7 Habits again and really work on defining my core roles and values and ultimately, a personal mission statement. When Chuck emailed me, I was in the middle of writing a first draft of this mission statement.

I think Stephen Covey’s approach to this is a good one. He suggests that you define your roles in life first. Think about it. You are one person, but you’re many things to many people, a father to your children, a spouse or significant other to your partner, an employee or employer, a writer or blogger, a member of a church or other group, and, most importantly, an individual. I say that your role as an individual is most important because it is the deepest layer, the most inner part of yourself that defines who you are. Without having an idea of what’s important to you, it’s almost impossible to develop a proper perspective on your other roles in life.

I have a lot more to say on this topic, but I’m going to save it for another post. I’ll be including some of my own personal mission statement, too, so check back soon.

In the post JD describes a recent situation of having to fire an employee who was not performing well. Actually, it was a lot more than just not performing well, but you’ll have to read the article to get the whole story. I’ll just note that I found the whole post to be incredibly profound. One line stuck out for me in particular, though:

“…the things that are priorities in our lives are the things we actually do.”

This is the gospel truth, friends. I never really thought of it in quite this way before, but it’s one of those obvious points that we all know, but probably never think about with any specificity. The things we are spending our time on right now are our priorities.

Like the unfortunate young man JD had to fire, many of us think things are our top priorities when clearly by this definition they are not. This guy said his job was his top priority and probably really believed that, but the truth was that other things in his life took top billing instead.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, though. For this 21 year old guy, realizing that the job wasn’t his first priority should have told him something. This isn’t to say that his job should have been his first priority, but if it was important to him it should have held a higher position on his ladder of priorities. The fact that it didn’t may mean that it was a good thing for him to get fired. He didn’t care enough about the job to want to keep it.

Of course I want to talk about the lesson in this now. Think about the choices you make every day. What do you spend your time doing? What are the priorities you think you have? Compare those to the priorities you appear to have based on the time you spend on those activities. Is there a big discrepancy? Perhaps the lesson here is that our priorities should be in line with our goals and values. If you feel that something is wrong in your life, maybe this is it. Take some time to review your priorities. Believe me, I’m going to do the same thing.

This quote is a really good one to think about:

When you find yourself at a place where the sound of your cell phone ring stresses you out, the overwrought signature of a co-worker really annoys you, or the thought of your company’s widgets makes you want to scream, you know a change is needed.

Sounds a lot like what I was talking about in Emotional Feedback and Discomfort Is A Call To Action. It’s a message that we could stand to be reminded of more often and Chuck makes the point very well with his characteristic sense of humor. Check out his post and see if there are some things in your life that are telling you that change is needed.